Transcript: 10 Fave Fics Under 5,000 Words

[Funin’ and Sunin’ by Kevin MacLeod plays]

C: Welcome back to episode 34 of Not Now, I’m Reading, your one-stop shop for all things genre. My name is Chelsea.

K: And I’m Kay.

C: And today we are here to do another fun fic only rec episode. Last time we brought you guys our favorite novel length fics and so this time we are gonna go to the opposite end of the spectrum and we are bringing you our favorite short fics which as defined by us is anything at or below 5k. Spoiler alert I cheated.

K: So 5,000 words or less. You did not cheat!

C: I have one that’s 6,000 words.

K: Guys.

C: Ten each?

K: Yes, we’re gonna do ten each of 5,000 words or less. And this isn’t even close to all the ones I could’ve recommended. I literally only went through twelve pages of bookmarks to get these, so we could do plenty more episodes like this. [Laughs]

C: Ones you haven’t already talked about?

K: No, I just, yeah, I’m trying hard to make sure none of these are ones I’ve talked about on the podcast before.

C: I’ll not make that promise.

K: I’m 90-ish% sure, but guys, it’s been a long week for both of us. And neither of us are braining real good.


C: That sounds about right. But, as always, before we do that we are going to talk to you guys about what we are currently reading or what we just finished. Why don’t you go ahead and go first this time cause I think I went first in the last one. or maybe not and you can just go first again just for fun.

K: I am currently listening to Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli. So I got the audiobook from the library after we went to go see Love, Simon. The big problems I had with the movie are not problems I’m having with the book, but the problems I’m having with the book are problems that I didn’t have with the movie, so take that how you will. I kinda don’t wanna be too spoilery. So I am enjoying that. I don’t think it’s great, it’s just kind of fine and maybe I’ve just gotten kind of picky about how I feel about contemp YA. Who knows? It’s just fine. I think the audiobook is quite well done if you’re just looking for a fast easy listen YA I would recommend this audiobook, but I don’t think the book is amazing.

C: That’s fair.

K: Which is rude, but it’s just fine. [Laughs] It’s not bad.

C: Not every book is gonna be knock your socks off awesome.

K: Here’s my thing. I don’t normally notice when an author tends towards slightly clunky prose in audio.

C: Fair.

K: I feel like I can tell that Becky Albertalli lends towards slightly clunky prose.

C: Really? Interesting.

K: Even in audio. So now I kinda want to borrow the ebook and see if I’m still having that issue if I’m just reading it. But there are parts where I’m reading it thinking this is just a little awkward. And I don’t normally feel that with books that have gotten as big as this book did. So I don’t know if that’s a function of listening to it or if it’s just this book.

C: I listened to it in audio and I didn’t think that the prose was specifically clunky.

K: How fast did you listen to it?

C: Hmm.

K: Chelsea listens to things at really high speed.

C: Not that fast for me.

K: Yeah.

C: For me is admittedly pretty. Two and half speed, I think?

K: Okay.

C: That’s my usual pace.

K: I listened to it at double speed and I’m still noticing some clunky shit, though.

C: It also might just be that my noticing of…

[Kay laughs]

C: Sometimes I feel like if you read enough of a genre sometimes you just kid of start liek not….you notice it when it’s really bad, you notice it when it’s really great.

K: But otherwise all in the middle? Yeah.

C: Doesn’t bump quite as hard and I read a lot of YA so it might be that. I really enjoyed that book, but you know. I can understand why there are things you could bump against and would be different from the movie. The first thing I am going to talk about is a book I just finished that I have been meaning to read for forever. I first heard Elizabeth talk about it, from Books and Pieces. I don’t even remember how long ago.

K: Have we ever given a shoutout to Elizabeth from Books and Pieces on the podcast, before?

C: No, but I love her. I love Elizabeth so much.

K: If you like SFF. If you are looking to find some new booktubers, if you are just looking for fun bookish people to follow on social media. Elizabeth is a delight. And we’ll link her in the show notes. She’s so delightful and she’s a library professional.

C: Yes, don’t quote me on what specifically. In the UK. Elizabeth we love you a whole lot. But I heard her talking about this book forever ago and knew I wanted to read it, but i just didn’t. Just one of those things that slipped beneath the radar and went online to look for it and low and behold my library had two in print copies which first of all was shocking because first I heard it was a self published book which is not usually a thing you’ll find picked up in hard copy by a library and second of all it’s Peter Darling, which is a trans retelling queer romance of Peter Pan, so if there definitely wasn’t a book I thought my Kansas library would have two in print copies of it was probably this one, but I’m so glad they did because I love getting books from the library. But so like I said, this is Peter Darling by Austin Chant. It is the story of when Peter Pan goes back to Neverland and kinda falls back in with the Lost Boys and back in with Captain Hook, but some things have changed since Peter Pan left with Wendy Darling. Like I said, this is a trans queer romance so there are lots of things happening in the developing relationship between Peter and Captain Hook and commentary on the queering of villains and taking back that narrative of queerness that’s ascribed to villainy. There are several good links that talk about that relationship if you’ve never heard about that before. About the queering of Disney villains, but also just villains and villainy in general and how that happens and how that’s developed over history, but I just relaly, really loved it. it’s really, really beautiful prose. Austin does a really good job of bringing that playful, reverent spirit of Peter Pan to a book that’s dealing with a lot and a lot of personal development and a lot of reckoning with some of your past secrest and changes so I don’t really wanna say too much cause I don’t wanna spoil it, but I really, really loved it and I tink you should see if your library maybe also magically has a copy of that for you to check out. And again, that’s Peter Darling by Austin Chant.

K: Delightful. That has a relly pretty cover.

C: It’s a beautiful cover.

[Kay laughs]

C: Like it’s pretty when I saw it, but then when I actually picked up the book it’s a beautiful cover.

K: I haven’t looked at it closely, I just saw you holding it and thought oh, that’s a pretty book.

C: Pretty cover.

K: Yeah.

C: So I’m very excited for everyone to go read it.

K: We’re always here for good cover design. There are some books where I am like that is a gorgeous cover and that is I book I am never going to read.

C: But good job cover designer!

K: Way to go cover designer. Alright, so next up I am gonna talk about a couple of fics. This one is novel length and they just finished posting it so it is no longer a work in progress. It is called What Goes Around by, y’all know how bad I am with names, but I read this author’s Teen Wolf stuff all the time. It’s . It is dark and it is much darker than I normally read. But it is also very funny, as most of this author’s stuff is. The summary is: “Well,” Stiles says, “if they’re going to hunt werewolves, I’m going to hunt them.”

It’s a ridiculous statement from a ten-year-old, but he’s obviously one hundred percent sincere. For the first time since the fire, Peter feels life stir inside him, feels purpose. It’s kismet, clearly. He’ll never meet the child he would have had with Olivia. Instead he’s met this boy, this brilliant, determined, cynical child with a world of potential.

Peter kneels down in front of him so they’re at eye level. “How do you feel about doing that together?”

And no, this is not a creepy grooming romance. It’s not Peter/Stiles. It is a Peter is raising Stiles after both of them have lost all of their family. And they basically train each other up and go hunt down hunters who have killed innocent werewolves. And they basically become a famous serial killer team that is hunting down these people who no one knows how they’re connected, but they call them the Obituary Killer. And they get these hunters to admit to all the people they’ve killed and they leave a list with the body. And if that sounds like your jam, definitely read this. And it’s such an AU that you really need very minimal context for Teen Wolf to read it.

C: Or you can do what I did and watch the first two seasons of Teen Wolf.

K: Yep.

C: And then nothing else.

K: Which is what I told you to do and it worked out great, didn’t it?

C: Worked out perfectly.


C: I have never had a problem in any of the fic I’ve tried to read.

K: Right? Definitely mind the tags on this and obviously: serial killers. But it’s also a Derek/Stiles and Allison/Scott fic. So again it’s What Goes Around and it’s just over 71,000 words.

C: Alright. The next one I’m gonna talk about is another short one. This one is another sevenfists one and it’s another one of the ones that’s from their ficlet collection so the title is uh, unfortunately exactly what it says on the tin, just like the mob smut au that I recommended not all that long ago.

[Kay snorts]

C: Did you just look at the show notes and see what this is?

K: No. I’m not looking at the show notes so that everything you rec can be a surprise to me, today.

C: You’re gonna be so delighted cause I’m about to talk about post game spanking by sevenfists. That’s what it’s called. Guys. I wish that there were video podcasts so you could see the look on her face.

K: No, I mean, I read this. [Laughs]

C: I know you did. It’s cause we’re both subscribed to sevenfists, but htis is like I said pretty much exactly what it says on the tin it’s 3,000 words of postgame porn. Geno gets a hat trick and Sid decides to reward him so that’s it just it doesn’t really need any further explanation beyond that. it is what it is and it’s delightful. Sevenfists writes such great PWP guys.

K: Yeah, that’s true.

C: I am like hit or miss a lot on those cause they can vary so much in quality.

K: And you guys knows I don’t read much PWP at all.

C: Just not your.

K: Yeah.

C: There’s gonna be a lot of my shorter fics.

K: Chelsea is just gonna be reccing you guys some filth and that is fine. That is.

C: Balance.

K: Her raison d’être.


C: But uh, that was post game spanking by sevenfists. And I don’t know if I said, but that’s a Hockey RPF Sid/Geno fic.

K: You said it was Sid/Geno and if you’ve listened to more than two episodes of this podcast, I’m sorry [Laughs] that you already know who they are.

C: So sorry that you’re now just innately aware of who these people are, but also I’m not sorry cause it’s gonna be super delightful for you listeners.

K: Also Hockey RPF is a delightful fandom and I know a lot of people don’t do RPF, but guys.

C: I. Okay.

K: Most of them have so little to do with the actual people. [Laughs]

C: The only RPF fandom I’m ever in because I am on the very fringes of the Call Me By Your Name fandom because the minute you step more than an inch over that line oh, it immediately descends into people Charmie shipping and it makes me so deeply and irascibly uncomfortable that I can’t even sit still when I think about it.

K: Yeahhhh.

C: It makes me feel like I’m gonna crawl out of my skin it makes me so uncomfortable and I don’t know. I was talking to my friend Reed the other day about the differences why it doesn’t bother me in hockey versus.

K: Here’s my thing.

C: I think it’s because one, i don’t know anything about them.

K: Yeah.

C: I’m not invested enough a follower to know about them personally.

K: Which, i do. [Laughs] This is my only RPF fandom and I feel like the big reason it doesn’t bother me as much is they’re public figures, but in a different way when it’s someone in sports fandom. Hockey fans are never gonna, never gonna @ a player and link them to shit. And people in actor RPF fandoms are really into breaking that fourth wall, which I am not really cool with.

C: It makes me very uncomfortable.

K: And it makes a lot of real people who are being shipped very uncomfortable. And that’s my line there.

C: I know nothing about One Direction other than that headline story came out that actual RPF shippers ruined their ability to have a platonic friendship.

K: Isn’t that awful?

C: And that’s pretty fucked up.

K: That’s so sad! Because obviously that is a small portion of the fandom. Who ruined that, you know?

C: And I will say the large majority of fans discussing it in the Call Me By Your Name fandom are aware of it and adamantly trying to insist that people not bring the actual real life people into this, but eh. It just crosses the line. And like you said, the overlap between actualy hockey hockey fans and hockey fans who are also fic writers is so small that the general bleedthrough is not.

K: When you consider fandom of hockey as a sport versus hockey RPF fandom, those numbers are very different. But there is definitely plenty of overlap.

C: I’m sure! And I’m sure there are lots of fic writers who are hockey fans. But my guess would be the average hockey fan would have no idea. If you went up to them and started talking to them about Sid/Geno fic?

K: Versus anyone in a bandom fandom would know what you’re talking about.

C: So that was a fun tangent.


K: Next up, random fandoms all day every day, guys. This one’s gonna be Game of Thrones. It’s a Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth fic. It’s not like I went looking for this, it’s just astolat posted a new fic and I was like hey, sure. The summary is: “Marry me instead,” Jaime said. And that’s literally all you need to know. It’s 8,000 words. It’s by astolat. If me telling you all of those things doesn’t have you interested in this, you’ll not be interested in it. if you’re interested, you’re already gone. you are no longer listening to this podcast. You are already going to AO3 and pulling up this fic. So enjoy Laying Siege by .

C: Love astolat.

K: So good.

C: Always. And then my last rec before we get into the bulk of the episode is going to be, can you guys guess it? It’s a Barisi fic. I know everybody needs to pick their jaws up off the floor, pay your bookies, I know, who would’ve guessed it. This is Scenes from an Italian Restaurant by Robin Hood. This is the thing that like just do little tiny vignettes all aroud a central them. I fthat title sounds familiar it’s cause it’s also the title of a Billy Joel song that i relly love a whole lot.

K: I mean, it’s Billy Joel.

C: Yes. This is four vignettes of different possible timelines for Rafael Barba and Sonny Carisi. Going into it it’s probably important to know they’re not in any way related. They’re four separate and distinct AUs. I kinda forgot that when I started reading and my brain was trying to connect the story timelines and it wasn’t working and it’s cause i’ts not supposed to work like that so a heads up that’s a fun thing but it’s a like what’s that Closing Doors or whatever that Gwyneth Paltrow movie is?

K: Sliding Doors?

C: So about like things that could’ve been versus things that are and if that’s something that’s interesting to you it’s only like 3k? 3700 words so it’s not super long. But it’s just a little bit —

K: I definitely thought you were gonna be like it’s not that long, thirty-something k. [Laughs]

C: Well, cauase I was gona say 37k and then my brain was like that’s not how numbers work. You know how my brain and numbers work.

K: That’s okay. Steven Spielberg doesn’t know how last names work, so like. [Laughter]

C: Oh you mean Indiana Jane? Surnames change by gender? It’s fine. Guys, go read Scenes from an Italian Restaurant by Robin Hood. That’s my last rec.

K: I’m so sorry. So sorry, I just couldn’t help myself. [Laughs] Cause I’ve been cackling about that periodically for several days. Alright, my last rec is an oldie but a goodie. Derek Hale’s Seduction Techniques by , who’s one of my fave writers from Teen Wolf fandom, which is saying something because it’s a huge fandom a lot of talented people have written things in. The summary is: It doesn’t sit well with Stiles, the thing at the police station and with Erica. It niggles at him from the back of his mind, screaming PAY ATTENTION TO ME. Because Derek’s apparently familiar enough with flirting to do it successfully, like it’s something that comes naturally to him, but what kind of broody misanthropic guy flirts? And so this is a really lovely little fic from Stiles’s POV where you get a really great internal view of how Stiles’s mind works and when that’s done well it’s one of my favorite things writers do in Teen Wolf fanodm. And this one talks about the various file folders where he stores things in his brain in a really charming way. And it’s tagged: fluff, oblivious, and pining. So you know why I am here for this. it’s just over 6,600 words. Again, that’s Derek Hale’s Seduction Techniques by .

C: Alright, and then my last one is gonna be back to hockey fandom. This is, uh, guys? I…I don’t know what happened. But I have not been able to stop reading a/b/o fics and I don’t like it and I don’t want it to continue, but I don’t know how to stop it. So that’s just what we’re doing now, I guess, apparently. This is part of me apart from me by cathedralhearts. I’ll just read you guys the sumary: Before Flower can speak, Geno’s crossed the room, his backpack falling to the floor, discarded, as he slams Sidney against the wall. He hikes Sidney’s leg up over his hip and grinds down on him.

[or: the omegaverse fic where Geno’s an alpha, and society doesn’t like him very much] Um, yeah. So. I don’t really wanna get too much into it without warning you guys to check your tags, first, as I always do when it comes to a/b/o fics. This is obviously a Sid/Geno pairing. There’s also both an original male and original female character to fill the a/b/o positiions. I really, really liked it. It was an interesting take on the Geno as an alpha thing. A lot of the a/b/o things put Geno in the alpha role so I thought this one did it in a way that was very interesting in a way that stands out from the way the other ones did. So that’s part of me apart from me by cathedralhearts.

[Funin’ and Sunin’ by Kevin MacLeod plays]

C: Alright, friends, so that about wraps up the currently reading stuff that we are talking about. We are doing our top ten short fics which, by our rules, is anything under 5k. We’re doing it as a counterpoint to the Novel Length Fics episode that we did for you guys not too long ago. So these are going to be pretty much any fandom. We have, I’m sure, speaking for myself, some pretty random fandoms coming at you guys. We’ve done our best to pick stuff we haven’t talked to you guys about before. Standard caveat that that’s much easier for Kay to do than for me to do. Her backlog is much larger. So there is some stuff on here I’ve mentioned before, but that’s okay because I think it’s all really great and you should still read all the things we’re about to tell you guys about. of course we will say right at the top please check the show notes for all of these links.

K: We also include the links in the transcript, if that’s how you’re consuming this, obviously.

C: Obviously. But so without further ado I’ll go ahead and go first. I went all the way back to like some of my oldest fic recs for this one. The very first one that I found that I absolutely had to include is called Stranger things than polyamory by trepan. This is a Jonathan Byers/Nancy Wheeler/Steve Harrington fic. So polyamory. The summary is: Somebody spray-paints NANCY WHEELER HAS TWO BOYFRIENDS on a wall she walks by on her way back from school in May. There are a couple of other students watching her as she passes. Nancy gives the sign a long look, then smirks at them politely. And so it’s basically about how Nancy really wants to date Steve and Nancy really wants to date Jonathan and Steve and Jonathan clearly have some tension between each other they need to work out. Just all busy being dumb teenagers with teenager feelings and also figuring out how it is that they can all be together. There’s a really large number of polyam fics in my favorite short ones for some reason. More so than in my long ones. I don’tknow if there’s something in the polyamorous dynamic that makes it easier to do in short burts or not, but this is not the only one I have. This one is 3,500 words. I don’t, it’s been a while since I’ve read it, but if I remember it has a single spoiler for the first season of Stranger Things, but it’s kind of like the big spoiler.

[Kay snorts]

C: If you have, fast forward thirty seconds. It takes place at the end of season one, so Barb is gone. Barb has died and is dealing with the thing she’s in the Upside Down is a thing they’re dealing with emotionally. But that’s Stranger things than polyamory by trepan.

K: My first one is going to be a Teen Wolf fic. Guys, this is tagged utter crack, btu I really don’t think that it is. It’s called Flight Risk with a Fear of Falling by Febricant. I wanna give you a heads up, this is locked for AO3 users only if you do not have an AO3 account that sucks and also DM me on Twitter cause I think I still have some invites left.

C: I may have some left from the last time.

K: Let us know, we’ll see what we can do. We’ll ask around if we personally don’t have some invites still.

C: We can probably track some down.

K: Also you don’t have to DM us on Twitter. You can e-mail us at the podcast or leave a comment on this post or you know.

C: Get in touch with us.

K: Smoke signals. Carrier pigeon. Whatever. Just get the message to us we’ll do what we can to help. So this Teen Wolf fic is a Derek/Stiles fic tagged utter crack but I really don’t think that it is. It’s called Flight Risk with a Fear of Falling by Febricant. It’s 3,041 words. The summary is: “Got a curse I cannot lift,” Derek grinds out, jaunty beat completely at odds with his murderous glare. Basically, a curse happens and it’s that Derek can only speak in song lyrics and if you have seen even five minutes of that show, please picture how amazing that is and it’s both hilarious and heartbreaking. As most of my favorite fics in this fandom are. It’s just really delightful. Again, that’s Flight Risk with a Fear of Falling by Febricant.

C: Alright, let’s see. Which of these super fun oens do I wanna do next. Oh, okay, I know. I love this fic a whole lot. Alright guys, the next pick I’m gonna talk about is idiomatic by trillith. This is a Hockey RPF Sid/Geno fic where Geno’s at a bar and he has his phone in his pocket and his pocket accidentally dials Sid and so then Sid texts him wondering what’s going on and because Geno’s kind of drunk and because Geno doesn’t know English super well he texts that he accidentally made a booty call as opposed to a butt dial and so the connotation of those two words are very different in English. So Sid, although surprised, just kind of rolls with the fact that apparently Geno is calling him from a bar in the middle of the night looking for what he’s now just told him is a booty call. So he invites Geno over and Geno is into Sid but obviously didn’t know exactly what it was he was saying so they’re like negotation of how that whole scene plays out is incredibly adoralbe and then they have really hot sex and it’s really great. It was one of the first shorter hockey fics I read and I still think about it to this day because it has such a cute and hilarious premise. I will never forget the difference between a butt dial and a booty call specifically because of this fic. And that’s idiomatic by trillith.

K: That’s a delightful fic. Well, this is gonna be a mood change. This is one of my favorite short fics in SGA fandom, which is a big category. There’s a lot of really great fics in that fandom in general, but there’s a lot of really lovely short things there in particular. This is Edges by rageprufrock. Because obviously we needed to get our Pru recommendation in here. It’s 2,352 words. This is, okay, so major character death warning. John is dead in this. you’ll figure that out very quickly. And it’s, the Stargate program is about to be declassified and basically everyone else has managed to make it except John. And John did make it long enough to get back to Earth. So just. [Fake crying noises]

C: [Flatly] I’m gonna kill you for giving me feelings right now.

K: Sorry.


K: It’ snot like you are at all surprised. It’ snot like you’re surprised. But you’re gonna get to the end of this fic and be so proud you didn’t cry to yourself and ou’ll read the last line and start bawling. and that’s just all I have to say about that. So that’s Edges by rageprufrock.

C: We all know how well I did with the last major character death fic in which John was deceased. Do you remember this? A lot of all caps in those DMs. Anyway, you can’t even say the name of that fic.

K:  freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose by  is such a great fic.

C: Maybe one of my alltime.

K: My mom has actually read that.

C: That doesn’t surprise me, it’s a beautiful fic.

K: My mother does not read, like, anything. My mom’s not a reader. She doesn’t read books or fic, but after we finished SGA, I literallly printed that fic out and gave it to her and she was like [crying] this is so beautiful. It is gorgeous. And even my mom liked it. We’re gonna link that in the show notes even though it’s definitely over 5k.

C: Dono’t care.

K: Dn’t care.

C: If I could get that hyperlinked on a business card and start handing it out to strangers, every person I meet. I mean, like, I would do it. I’ve done less crazy things for fandom.

K: You could just stick them inside copies of books at the library. I’ve thought about doing that. Just put slips of fic recs and tuck them into books.

C: Should do that with harry Potter.

K: If it’s a book for that fandom or a good recommendation for someone who’s likgin a certain book. A fun project.

C: Librarians! If you need recs obvi hit us up. My next rec is gonna be, lets’ do one that’s not porny like at all. Libertad by ariadnes_string.

K: [Sighs]

C: I know. I can’t even. Just thinking about this fic gives me chills. This is a really beautiful character study, a small fic about Erik who is in the middle of his Nazi hunting days and he’s going to Brazil, which has a large Jewish population but one that was not affected in the same way as the German Jewish population that Erik was a part of the comunity of. So he’s just doing a lot of reflecting on his life and his history as a mutant and having gone through concentration camps in WWII and all of that and it’s just really intesnely beautiful. Content warnings for all of the things.

K: Yeah.

C: Character piece about a character who’s gone through some really dark shit both in global history and in his own personal timeline, but if you can deal with or move past those trigger warnings I really, really. This fic is so incredibly beautiful, guys. It’s breathtaking. Again that’s Libertad by ariadnes_string.

K: And I’ve recced that fic to so many people. Including some of my Jewish fandom friends who were like, yeah, that’s the best Jewish character fic thing that I’ve read. So. Take that with a grain of salt, but obviously. Okay, next up. I tink…did you do any Marvel recs, yet?

C: Not yet.

K: Okay, so this is an immeidate post The Avengers, so as in post-2012 the original teamup of the Avengers fic. It’s called After the End. It’s by forever fave copperbadge. And I’m really sad that the character featured in this still has still not shown up in the MCU. The summary is: “You looking for someone?” “A friend. My friend Bruce. I came here to find him.” And the first line of the fic is: When the invasion started, Betty was in Bethesda. And guys, I love Betty Ross so much and I’m really bitter that she hasn’t shown up in the MCU, yet. What the fuck is that about? [Laughs]

C: I don’t know who that is.

K: She’s Bruce Banners’ girlfriend, basically, but she’s badass and wonderful.

C: Bruce doesn’t deserve a badass wonderful girlfriend.

K: No, but we deserve Betty.

C: That’s fair. Valid.

K: And this fic is 3,512 words. Mind the tags on this one. Post-film, disasters, reunions, mentions of 9/11. Which, obviously, post The Avengers there were a lot of people writing fics with allusions that New Yorkers would obviously make between the alien invasion of Manhattan in The Avengers and events of 9/11 and the cleanup afterwards, so, just mind that. Again, that’s After the End by copperbadge.

C: Alright. My next one is gonna be, I’ll go ahead and do my superhero rec. It’s, guys, guys, it’s a DC rec! This might be the only DC thing I’ve ever talked about before ever. And it’s so good! This is a Wonder Woman/Steve Trevor fic.

K: God, OTP.

C: OTP! One of my very few literally count ’em on one hand heterosexual slash —

K: I was gonna say.

C: Appearing heterosexual pairings.

K: 100% think they’re both bi, I mean, headcanon-wise.

C: Without textual support.

K: Diana is canonically bisexual.

C: This, guys, this is so fucking hot. I always thought that teasing nerd boys about wanting to be tied up with the golden lasso of truth was just a thing you made fun of guys with neck beards about.

[Kay snorts]

C: But no, that shit is working for me in all kinds of the best ways. I’ll just read you guys the summary: “I thought you said men were unnecessary for pleasure?”

“Many things are unnecessary for pleasure.” Diana’s sweet smile slips sideways into a smirk and Steve’s heart falters before beating triple-time. “That does not mean they cannot provide it.” Check your tags. All of the wonderfully fun that adventures await you are tagged. thelittlestdoc does a wonderful job tagging all of their fics. I will also say there is some really hardcore alliteration in this and as somebody who enjoys word sounds I really, really appreciated it. It’s 4,900 words so it’s literally right under the 5k mark.

K: Just got it in under there.

C: That’s what she said. Okay, that’s the magic that you do by thelittlestdoc. We are twelve.


C: We are twelve years old.

K: Okay. So this is a James Bond fic. I actually have two of these cause there’s lots of lovely short fics in this fandom and a lot of really wonderful writers who write in this fandom. This one is a 00Q fic tagged: married to their work, you me and espionage makes three, and Q is the nerdiest of nerds. All of which are just fantastic. It’s 3,590 words. It’s called Love and Other Hazardous Materials by luchia. Which continues to be one of my favorite titles for anything in this pairing/fandom/fandom at large. The summary is: “This is just getting ridiculous,” M says when he finds Q trying to put motorized circular saw blades into a briefcase.

(Or, Q and James Bond love their jobs so very, very much.) It’s just really delightful and there’s kind of a madcap quality to both of the James Bond fics I’m reccing today. This is, Q gets really up in his making gadgets things for Bond in this fic, and it’s really, really delightful. The only three characters in this are just three white dudes, so I do apologize about that, but it’s a really lovely fic. Again, it’s Love and Other Hazardous Materials by luchia.

C: Alright. This  next one I will go ahead and do my SGA rec because every good massive fic rec episode has to have at least one Stargate rec in it from each of us. This is I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus by callunavulgari. Who also wrote that really great Labyrinth AU.

K: Who’s written lots of really great stufff.

C: Most recently from them I remember reading a great Labyrith Stargate crossover thing.

K: I’m pretty sure they wrote in Teen Wolf, also.

C: Probably.

K: Yeah.

C: They’re one of those writers that’s written in a wide spread of fandoms we both read in, so highly recommend callunavulgari. This is a, so, kidfic is somethign that a lot of people can take or miss and this isn’t really kidfic, but it’s that adorable thing where Rodney is having to spend a lot of time with his niece.

K: Who is a delight.

C: Who is a delight, but also Rodney with children is like.

K: Also a delight.

C: He is a delight because he’s so bad at it. He’s a genius and could literally build a bomb with a paperlicp, but can’t take a girl to the mall to see Santa.

K: He reminds me of those people you know in real life who have no fucking clue what to do when faced with a tiny human, but tiny humans automatically adore them for reasons beyond the understanding of adults. There are totally people who are just like that and I feel like Rodney Mckay really would be one of them, which makes this fic extra lovely.

C: But, uh, yeah. So he has to take his niece to the mall to see Santa. This is post-Stargate. It’s so, it’s not an AU. Stargate has happened.

K: It’s post-canon.

C: Thank you for words.


K: It’s a hard day.

C: But basically low and behold when he goes to the mall to see Santa, guess who’s behind the Santa beard, guys? It’s John Shepard. So not only do they have to have this kind of awkward meeting having gone their separate ways after the Atlanti smission is over so John is also in a Santa suit.

K: There’s just a lot happening.

C: Kind of uncomfortable, there’s just a lot going on and theyr’e being adorable awkward which is my favorite John/Rodney combo together. It’s 3,800 words so it’s even shorter than some of the other ones we’re talking about today, but I know it’s Santa Clause related but it’s just an adorable fluffy any time of year second chance fic.

K: Also, I am down to read holiday fics at any time of year. A lot of them are just so cheerful and that’s a nice little boost when yu’re having a rough time.

C: And it’s just like a they’re traveling and that what I share or they’re snowy and it’s snowed in.

K: Also I haven’t seen it in a while,b ut I want the Christmas in July fandom things to be happening again.

C: Yeahhhh.

K: Cause that’s really delightful and I just want that to be a spate.

C: Hey, fandom olds. Get on that.

K: Bring us some Christmas in July fics.

C: Because so good. So again, that’s I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus by callunavulgari.

K: I am apologizing in advance for how I’m going to pronounce this person’s username, cause I ain’t got a fucking clue. This fic is called Touch Faith by Stultiloquentia. Like I said, I’m really sorry. The summary goes: At nine p.m. on a Tuesday, the floo at Grimmauld opens with an irritable whuf and vomits Draco Malfoy onto the hearthrug. And this is a post-Half Blood Prince pre-slash AU.

C: I love a good pre-slash AU. You guys know me, I’m always here for some PWP, but sometimes the pre-it’s just. Sometimes pers-lash works.

K: This fic opens with Malfoy literally being vomited onto the carpet at Harry’s place saying ‘sanctuary’ and Harry saying ‘yes.’ And then it goes on from there. It’s only 2,744 words, but I would just sink into this AU forever if I could. But it’s one of those fics that it’s beautifully self-contained as is. So good. Kinda reminds me of , where they do a lot of the Harry Potter AUs that are just kind of a thought experiment in the form of a fic. It has a little bit of that vibe going on, but with a slightly more closed feeling ending than some of those do. Again, this is Touch Faith by, I’m so sorry, Stultiloquentia.

C: Let’s see. I’ll go ahead and do another one of my polyam recs. This is that was all she wrote by impertinence. This is a Man from UNCLE, I know, Kay is mouthing: I love impertinence at me from where she’s sitting.


C: I also love impertinence. This is the Man from UNCLE OT3, Illya/Napoleon/Gaby. This is really, much like Stranger Things, one of those where seeing it on the screen like how many times while watching it did we go: it’s right there. The OT3 practically writes itself.

K: Those two fandoms plus Lovesick are just. THe OT3 solves the things. Which I feel that way about Harry Potter, but you know.

C: There’s just a lot of things that are better.

K: I can’t with Star Wars, though.

C: You can’t with a —

K: Not oldschool Star Wars.

C: Oh, no, I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about newschool Star Wars. Stormpilot plus REy, whatever that thing is called.

K: But also Rose, so it’s a quadrangle now.

C: Love triangles are dumb. Love squares!

K: Ship all the things.

C: Circles. All the people. Ship all the things. So the summary of this one is: He knows Napoleon is watching Gaby, just as he knows Gaby’s looking right back. What he doesn’t realize is that they’re both looking at him. So this does the thing that I love about polyam fics where it’s like from one very specific characters point of view and they’re not necessarily the most observant character so they can miss some of the ways they’re being inclued in the mutual pining thing that’s happening. The other thing that I really like about this fic and it’s something I have not run across a lot of, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, just means it hasn’t come across my path, which is the male virginity trope and education. Porn as education. So basically in this fic Illya is a virgin so Napoleon and Gaby work together to walk him through all of the carnal pleasures of the bedroom and it’s soo good guys it’s so hot. In less than 5,000 words impertienence manages to have this really hot bedroom scene but also this great camaraderie and friendship and the way these people really fit together.So I just really really loved it and that was that was all she wrote by impertinence.

K: Alright, next up I have got Memories Are for the Body by storyofapainter. [Whispers] You haven’t read this one.

C: I haven’t read this.

K: I was literally watching Chelsea’s face for a reaction because this is a Gen Kill fic that i know I’ve recommended to her, but if she hasn’t read it yet sh’es gonna ahve to. So this is Brad/Nate, as basically all of my recs are in Generation Kill fandom. It’s 3,351 words. And the summary is: Between the bombs and the bullets, the goats, the bodies, the fuck-ups and the failures, the small spurts of competence before rank and orders interfere, Nate cannot mark the moment looking at Brad became an exercise in wonder. And, like, I don’t wanna talk to much about what it’s about, just cause all these fics are so short I don’t wanna spoil them for you, but it’s so achingly lovely. It causes me physical pain. So, again, this is Memories Are for the Body by storyofapainter. And that was written for Yuletide 2009. Yuletide shoutout!

C: Love Yuletide. Can I just say that like painfully beautiful is just, like, if you want me to read your book.

K: Painfully beautiful is my jam.

C: That’s my thing.

K: That is my goal always if I am writing a thing, is basically always painfully beautiful or funny, but also hurts you deep in your soul. These are my writing goals. [Laughs]

C: Literally I want to be reading and have the instantaneous dual thought of ‘no stop’ but ‘don’t it’s so good’

K: Dont stop!

C: The next one I’m…let’s just go. Let’s go back to some porn, guys.

[Kay laughs]

C: This next one is called Corazón by ladyflowdi. This was one of the first fics that you ever linked me to.

K: It could be lady-flow-dee, but I think it’s lady-flow-die. I legitimately do not know, but. I have no idea which one it is.

C: I wish I knew, cause I wanna give them full credit.

K: They’ve written such amazing fics in so many fandoms. If you were in Sherlock fandom you definitely know this name.

C: This is definitely not a Sherlock fic cause I hate Sherlock.

K: No, I know.

C: [laughs] This is a Star Trek fic. It’s the AOS. It’s.

K: If you are unfamiliar with the short terms for the various shows, that’s the alternate original series, so those are the new movies that were coming out in the last few years.

C: Little fun primer.

K: Quick explainer.

C: Should you need more, Kay’s your girl, not me. [Laughs]

K: All the Star Trek fics Chelsea has ever read are ones I made her read.

C: Affirmative, yes. This is Kirk/Bones fic. It’s just really good, guys. It’ sjust. I wish I could say more about it than it’s just porn.

K: It’s beautifully filthy.

C: The summary is: Bones has this genteel southern refinement that can, and has, charmed the pants off anyone – well, except for Jim, but only because Jim’s seen him drunk off his ass and singing Take Me Home Tallulah and there’s no coming back from that. So like. Not only will that give you a litle hint of like.

K: This fic is funny and hot and has flawless characterization. And it’s really good. And it’s not a standalone. I mean, it’s a standalone.

C: It’s a series of PWPs.

K: Aren’t there only two?

C: A duology. The other is called Dímelo.

K: They’re both great.

C: Tehnically I was not supposed to pick anything that wasn’t a standalone.

K: It does stand on its own.

C: So i didn’t break the rules on that one. But that’s Corazón by ladyflowdi or ladyflowdee. It’s 3,600 words. Just read both. The two together comes in at less than 10,000 words so do yourself the blessing and do both.

K: Alright, this is a Good Omens fic. It’s Aziraphale/Crowley. It is 1,821 words and it is one of my favorite things. Guys, guess what it is? Rule 63. So it’s f/f fic. It’s called i just happen to like apples (i am not afraid of snakes) by gyzym, who is one of my forever fave writers. The summary is: Written for the following prompt: “Someone write me Crowley the bitter lesbian who only gave Eve the apple because she thought feminism should be there from day one.” As such, please be warned that this story contains some fairly radical reinterpretations of Biblical stories and themes; if that sort of thing is not for you, please give this tale a pass. Which, if you’ve read Good Omens, you’re pretty much good to go.

C: That sounds very much so like the canon source material.

K: The opening sentence of this —

C: THat’s one of Mark’s favorite books. I almost wanna send him this.

K: Really? The first sentence of this is: Crowley is an angel who does not Fall so much as Stride Furiously Downward. It’s good, guys.

C: Good stuff. Okay, so this one is kind of sort of a crossover, but not at all. It’s called an interrogation by Robin Hood. It’s 5,200 words. It’s a Barisi pairing, but it is not. It’s slash but not. It’s basically a deep dive character study in which Sonny is dealing with his feelings for and affections about Barba and his internalized homophobia but it’s doing it in a reimagining of the interview scene fro the West Wing. This fic is loosely based on one of my absolute favorite episodes of The West Wing, Noel, which we talked about in our fandom deep dive episode retro fandoms we did about The West Wing, so we’ll link to that in case you aren’t entirely sure what I am talking about when I talk about that. But that is the episode of The West Wing in which several things are happening, but primarily in this story Josh Lyman is going to see a traumatologist because he was in a shooting and has PTSD and has fucked up his hand and basically Robin Hood took that same relationship and moved it to SVU. So Sonny has fucked up his hand. He maintains he did it by banging it on his locker however there’s been some traumatic stuff that’s happened recently and George Huang the psychologist who works with SVU is there to talk about it so it’s tagged with things like religious guilt, internal conflict, internalized homophobia. Really, really beautiful. If you’ve seen that scene from Noel you’l understand what it is I’m talking about. If you haven’t, I really recommend you go and watch at least that episode of The West Wing. If ou see nothing else of that sho wever. But again, that’s an interrogation by Robin Hood and I just htink that it’s really great. It gives me lots of feelings.

K: Alright, my next rec is my last Teen Wolf rec. It’s a Derek/Stiles fic called Echoes by entanglednow. It’s 2,062 words. The fic opens: Someone has deleted half the numbers in Stiles’s phone. He doesn’t notice until he takes it out to text Scott, and finds his phonebook half the size it should be. And this is…the premise of this fic is that the Stiles of a much softer universe than canon universe has been dropped into canon-verse, somehow, someway. And is interacting with the rest of our faves from canon and it is both lovely and heartbreaking. And the last line, if you were not already totally shattered earlier, will make you lie in a crumpled ball on the floor for a good ten minutes.

C: Alright, so my next one is another Hockey fic. It’s a soulmate fic. This is, soulmates are athing, that i always, much like I used to say about marriage of convenience, that I always say I’m not into and hten.

K: I keep reccing these to you.

C: Soulmate or soulbound or something.

K: And you keep loving them.

C: Same applies here. It’s By Any Other Name by omelet. It’s another Sid/Geno one.

K: What up, two omelet fics this go around. Omelet does great short stuff.

C: And hockey that’s another hockey fandom where so much of my stuff is long that my shorter fics are fewer and farer between. This is really delightful. The summary is: Sidney does not have a soulmate mark, until he does, and then everything just goes downhill from there. And guess what, guys, guess what, can you guess who his soulmate is, can you guess? It’s Geno. I know you guys are all really shocked, but that’s what happens. This fic is really great cause it had really great locker room banter with everyone else, like everybody does, takes their turn kinda chirping Sid for now having his soulmate mark. It’s always really fun for me in the hockey fic where they tease each other about feelings and romance and having emotions cause that’s a fun thing to see sports team guys tease each other about and needless to say it ends up and it’s tagged as a crack fic and I feel like it kinda lives up to that so that’s By Any Other Name by omelet.

K: Which, guys, it’s not too cracky for me to read, so it’s cracky, but it’s not to the point of unreadability, cause I just don’t read that much. So this next fic, it is a standalone, but it’s actually a remix of another fic. They can both be read independently and they’re both by the same person. It’s basically, they wrote the same fic from each person’s point of view.

C: Ohhh, I love that.

K: So this is kind of a two-for. It’s by a really wonderful writer, Helenish. If you’re not familiar with their stuff, it’s wonderful. This one is called Selfish by Helenish. Which I like just slightly more than I like Blush. Chelsea will like Blush more because that’s the one from Rodney’s point of view.

[Chelsea gasps]

K: This one is from John’s.

C: Guys, I’m so excited to read these now!

K: [Laughs] This is an SGA fic that’s McShep, so it’s Rodney/John. The summary is: It wasn’t how he pictured it at all. And it’s basically feelings and porn.

C: My two favorite words in a sentence together.

K: And Rodney and John figuring their shit out. It’s basically perfect for Cheslea.

C: She just reached into my id and pulled thi sout.

K: If I hadn’t already recced her 5,000,000 things in this fandom including this fic I would be surprised she hadn’t read this yet.

C: Here’s the thing. When Kay reccommends me a thing, she just recommends me like fifty thigns at a time and I mark them all for later and work through them, but because of that there are things she sent me I just haven’t gotten to.

K: Beautiful things lingering waiting.

C: I’ll get there do. Beautiful thing about marked for later.

K: Marked for later is great. Use that function on AO3.

C: Okay, friends, this last one I’m gonna recommend. I’ve read this so many times it’s by one of my favorite writers in the fandom. Ahumanfemale. It’s literally only 1,700 words so it’ll take you almost no time at all to read it. But it is basically about when Sonny realizes that Rafael has his belly button pierced. Unbeknownst to him previously. And the way in which he sees it and the emotions that that evokes in him are really delicious and filthy and it’s disgusting but also delicious and I love it so so much it’s so good. Again, that’s. I don’t know if I actually said the title. It’s pierced by ahumanfemale.

K: And my last fic is another James Bond fic. This one’s gen. It’s not 00Q but I guess you could kinda read it as pre-slash if you wanted to. It’s called (he’s) so much more like spiderman than you will ever, ever be by paperclipbitch, who is a forever fucking fave in many fandoms. If you’re not familiar with their work. And it’s basically just a cracky fun gen fic. I’m just gonna read you this opening bit real quick: The problem with Q branch is that, well, you’ve taken a lot of very intelligent people and then shut them up in a basement together with a working coffee machine. While espresso shot Russian roulette and designing things that look like other things and then explode takes a lot of time, it doesn’t take up nearly as much time as everyone thinks it should and there’s really only so many hours of Fruit Ninja you can play before you start wanting to put your own eyes out.

Long story short: Q branch have a lot of time on their hands. So it’s basically just delightful Q branch shenanigans with apperances by all your other faves in 00Q fandom.

C: That sounds so wonderful.

K: And it’s 4,821 words so just kind of sliding right under the 5,000 word mark.

C: Wonderful.

[Funin’ and Sunin’ by Kevin MacLeod]


C: Alright, friends. Thank you so much for joining us to talk about some of our top ten favorite.

K: [Laughs] Just some, not all.

C: Kay always gets mad when I say top anything.

K: Cause it’s inaccurate!

C: It’s not exhaustive.

K: It’s inaccurate.

C: It’s fine.


C: But thank you guys so much. Coming up down the road.

K: So excited!

C: We are very, very excited we are finally geting to another one of our patron poll winners as promised. We will get themdone, guys, we have them on the calendar.

K: It’s one of those things we’ll get to them eventually. We swear. We just do things out of order cause we’re the worst.

C: And by worst she means highly professional podcast ladies.

K: Yeah, that.

C: Which is our way of saying we’re going to be reading Dealing with Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede.

K: Guys. This series is so super near and dear to my heart. I actually read them at the appropriate age. It’s a middle grade series. And then reread them multiple times. Including as an adult and they hold up. Which never happens with stuff you read as a kid and loved.

C: I completely missed them when I was middle grade caues I wasn’t reading stuff for a middle grade audience in middle grades, but I just read them as an adult and love them super a lot.

K: So precious.

C: I’m actually really sad that eleven-year-old me didn’t get them at the right, appropriate time. It’s fine. I had Alanna. I still made do.

K: Unfortunately.

C: These hold up way better than the Tortall books do.

K: I was gonna say. I reread those as an adult and yikes, y’all.

C: But I like this one way better.

K: Yes.

C: So that is what we’ll be doing in a couple of weeks. Go look. Every library I looked at had digital and physical copies.

K: They’re all over the place. Also, if you can’t find them that way, your local used bookstore will almost for sure have copies because they were very popular for a long time.

C: Or online retailers, have used copies for sale for pennies, literally.

K: Which is just what? They’re so good!

C: There’s plenty of ways to find it. I highly recommend you read it. The series really does hold up, or at least, considering I didn’t read it in the past, nothing about it reubbed me particularly wrong or clunky for 2018.

K: Guys, if you have not read these, and are reading for the first time, Morwen is gonna be your new favorite character ever.

C: They’re so good.

K: I strive to be her when I grow up someday.

C: I love them so much.

K: And if you’ve already read them, you know why.

C: Yeah. Exactly. So until then, until a couple of weeks from now, go out, find the book, read those and of course you can find us in all of our internet homes, which include our homes at and You can find Kay on twitter at.

K: @kaytaylorrea like I am everywhere on the internet.

C: And you can find me on twitter @anoutlawlife. Until next time, feel free to reach out and get in touch with us. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other, and have happy reading. Bye, guys.

K: Bye!

[Funin’ and Sunin’ by Kevin MacLeod plays]


C: God, guys, words are so hard. Our brains are just not.

K: We’re not really fucntionng.

C: It’s gonna be a hot mess.

K: It’s not a ridiculous assumption when you didn’t know his name!


C: It’s not like I called him Steve! I know his fucking name!


K: I’m gonna say that now. It’s not like I called him Steve!

K: I can’t mod-modulate the noise level of my sneezes. That’s an interesting talent.

C: Sneeze mod. My new alt band. Guys, what is life. What is happening?